About

Welcome!

My name is Antoinette Cabral.  I love celebrating life, exploring personal and spiritual development, going on adventures, and having fun. I am passionate about being a woman, living from the heart, feeling sensual, laughing, joking around, spending time with my family and friends, watching sunsets, going for full moon walks, flirting, dancing, giving and receiving hugs, chanting kirtan, traveling to sacred places, hiking, riding my bike, cooking mouth orgasmic dinners for friends, and indulging in dark chocolate.  I enjoy my life and its simple pleasures.  I have come a long way from what my life was like during my past.

When I was in my teens, I was not happy.  I didn’t know how to love myself. I hated the way my body looked.  My peers in school made fun of me constantly. They would call me mean names and make fun of my body.  I took it all in and became depressed.  I didn’t fit in and I would do things in order to get attention.  I felt as if I was constantly struggling and that the people around me didn’t support me.  Plus, my family was going through some really rough times when I was younger. I felt alone and internalized all of my pain, which I carried in my heart and my womb.  I cried out many times to a higher force for help because I was miserable.  Because of this, I developed a deep desire to figure out how to attain lasting happiness and understand the way the world works.  I began my own healing journey by saying affirmations.

Young Adult

I went to England at age 18.  All I wanted to do was get away.  Getting away was the best medicine I could give myself and I had a beautiful time while I got a fresh outlook on life.  This travel sparked a new kind of inquiry in my heart. I decided to travel more and go on a journey of adventures to discover how to attain lasting happiness.  My boyfriend at the time joined me in this inquiry.  Little did we know what was in store for both of us.

Matt was my partner in crime for this very important time in my life.  We traveled to Europe and lived in Mammoth, California where we became snowboarding bums. We backpacked in the Himalayas, studied yoga in Northern India, rode elephants together, spent time with the orangutans in the jungles of Indonesia, got chased by Komodo Dragons on Rinca Island, ate amazing food, and lived a life of spirituality and adventure.

Eventually, we both moved to Maui where we did some deep soul healing together.  Although we experienced many adventures and played together, I still carried in my heart the pain from the past.  My ideas of love were what I learned from my parents, the media, and the fairy tales that made me believe that I would be saved by prince charming.  Matt and I would fight many times over the same issues. I looked to Matt to love me and give me security, and I was a super angry woman.  My insecurities about my body continued to replay itself over and over again.  I smoked marijuana and drank wine to deal with the pain so that I couldn’t feel my feelings. These toxins took me out of my body.  We tried detoxing, martial arts, yoga, meditation, acupuncture, and other systems to see if any of these would help our relationship.  The spirit of Maui answered and brought us two trained Barbara Brennan healers to assist us with processing our childhood hurts.   Little did we know that our relationship was a spiritual journey of healing all on its own.  I understood from a deeper level now that I attracted Matt so that the pain I had buried inside would be brought up to the surface for me to look at and heal.  We did this work intensely for a few years.  This was our “Sacred Contract” with each other.  Once we each healed enough of our pain, it became time to go our separate ways.  I needed to see if I could learn to love myself when I was on my own. This was a huge deal for me because I had to venture out by myself. This wasn’t something that I had experienced before.

I realized that the more I healed, the more I was able to access my spirit and play.  That was another gift from Maui.  I would play all day, swim in the fresh water, laugh, play jokes, laze in the sun, kayak with the whales and climb waterfalls.  Playing in nature and being close to Mother Earth was such a beautiful experience!

Oregon

After Maui, I moved to Oregon.  This was one of the most memorable times in my life.  I participated in a program about Permaculture and sustainable living at the Lost Valley Educational Center.  I became part of an intentional community that lived on 87 acres of organic farm.   I camped underneath the trees on the edge of a meadow.  The other gardeners did the same.  The rest of the community lived in their warm cabins.  I connected with the other gardeners, and we would play in the forest, climb trees at night, hide in the mini-tree house we built, sleep underneath the stars, and spend time with Mother Earth.  It was so much fun!  I eventually got my Permaculture design certification. My time at the center gave me a different understanding of the earth and our relationship to her.

A big part of my time there involved learning how to become more comfortable in my own body.  Men and women there embraced their curves and their bellies.   I remember hanging out with a guy while he admired a woman’s belly.  Also, I participated in a workshop where we delved into practices to assist us in loving and embracing our bodies.  This was a big deal for me. I began learning how to cultivating a new sense of self.

I was part of a community that embraced conscious communication, authenticity, and transparency.  Wow!  I felt so liberated because I could be myself and experience whatever feeling or fear I was having in the moment.  If I was feeling sad, I would feel sad. I could let go of whatever “mask” I wore for people and just be me.  I loved asking for what I wanted. This was easy to do, especially when everyone else was doing this too. I thought to myself, “If only the rest of the world could grow up, be transparent and learn how to be more loving toward each other, then the world would be a different place.”

Thailand and New Zealand

After my amazing time in Oregon, I wanted to see my sister, Trisha, who lived on Maui.  We hadn’t gotten along very well when we lived there together before.  Because of our time apart, I thought it would be a great opportunity for us to spend time together.  We took a year off to travel. We headed to New Zealand.  The land there was amazing and reminded us of Hawaii.  Our time together was quite an adventure.  We bought a car, camped, and backpacked for three months.  I wasn’t aware of this at the time but I started to feel a lot of jealousy towards my sister.  All the men liked her, and it seemed like they weren’t paying attention to me.  My body issues and insecurities surfaced within me again.  It was easy to love my body when everyone else was paying attention to me, but around my sister, loving my body was challenging. I secretly resented her but didn’t realize this.  We took some time to process these emotions, and it was nice to be completely honest with her about my feelings.  We became closer from this experience.

We next ventured to Thailand.  We decided to follow our instinct and head north. We learned Thai massage at ITM.  People told us that we would love Pai, a city about 2.5 hours north of Chiang Mai. We loved the hot springs and met our new spiritual and creative family there.  Everyone we met was from Hawaii.  I would wake up in the morning and ride my bike through the foothills and rice terraces. I would spend time by myself in the springs.  My connection to the earth continued to flourish.  Trisha and I received our Reiki Master and Shamballa Reiki Healing Certifications while in Thailand with Julie Hamilton and Judith Paul.  We were both natural healers and it was nice to have access to these new awarenesses.

Last, I spent time in Wat Chom Tong, where I indulged in the Vipassana practice and training.  This was an intensive training where we delved into the karmic conditioning of the mind. Every day we would spend in complete silence and be present with our thoughts, feelings, and body sensations.  One day I lay on the ground of my room on the temple grounds, felt the collective karma of suffering of the planet and cried myself to sleep.  I stayed present with the sensations.  The next morning the feelings passed, and I sensed a feeling of liberation in my body.  This was a very deep practice, and I knew from a deep part of myself that this was my work on the planet.

Los Angeles

I was experiencing some confusion, and I visited Los Angeles to see my family.  I ended up getting sick and I decided to stay.  This was a challenging time for me because I felt like I was free before and now I was trapped.  This was my big test to integrate what I learned and apply it to my daily life.  I wasn’t sure about living here, but each day I would make the choice to be happy.  In time, I was.

I got my massage therapy certification and focused on energy healing.  Getting my certification was very natural for me.  I used Lomi Lomi, Hawaiian Healing Massage, as the foundation of all the body healing journeys I took my clients on.    I felt like I was massaging each person’s spirit, as well as the body.

Eventually, I started to feel more and more settled and grounded. I began making long-term commitments.  I met this circle of women lead by Nita Rubio and started practicing the Tantric Dance of Feminine Power for the next 3 years.  I fell in love with this practice as well as with the women.  Through the dance, I was able to journey to places in my body that I never experienced before.  The subtle energies of my body opened up so widely that there would be many days when I would be in bliss and pleasure.  I used to have to go to far away places—New Zealand, Thailand, and Hawaii—to experience this same feeling.  I dove deeper into the practice by circling with women during our menses, called the Moonlodge.  This was a Native American practice in accessing body wisdom during the woman’s bleeding time.  We did this intensely for a year.  I love how I relate to my body and bleeding time as a positive experience. Circling with women has been a profound gift to me.

Next, I went further in the practice by studying the Dakini of Emotions.  This practice helped liberate chains of emotions that bind and allow karmic patterns to stay reaction in the body.  I would and continue to spend hours in nature to commune with Mother Earth. This is a very deep practice that my spirit had participated in. My body awareness and wisdom changed forever. I am now able to access wisdom that I was never able to access before, and I take care of my body in ways that I never did before.

My healing practice changed because I am able to access and transmit this “Goddess” energy and use this for healing.  My clients would feel like they were in a whole different world while I held my sessions. I would integrate the Tantric Dance practices in my healing sessions and move around the client from my womb space.

I look forward to the two year advance Tantric Immersion study that I am participating in starting January 2010!

My relationship with my family continues to grow.  I now feel like I have the family I never had.  The more I grow, the more love I have for my family.  They are there for me in ways that are grounded, solid and loving.

My sister, Trisha, and I are now best friends.  We have this relationship that is wonderfully expansive and loving.

Matt and I continue to be great friends.  I know that our time together was the foundation of who I am today.

I wake up every morning and thank Goddess for my life, the lessons, the beauty, my family, my friends, my sisters and for LOVE!

Have a beautiful day!